


Aftershocks

by Sunhealer24



Series: The Bad Series [5]
Category: Original Work, The Bad Series
Genre: Abuse, Accidental Baby Acquisition, Canon-Typical Violence, Dark, Dead Dove: Do Not Eat, Death Threats, Domestic Violence, Emotional Hurt, Emotional Manipulation, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Extremely Dark, Forced Marriage, Forced Orgasm, Forced Relationship, Gaslighting, Grief/Mourning, Hurt, I Can't Believe I Wrote This, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, I should stop writing this series, I'm Going to Hell, Manipulation, Manipulative Relationship, Mind Manipulation, Multi, Not Happy, Not Suitable/Safe For Work, Not a Love Story, Past Abuse, Past Character Death, Past Rape/Non-con, Past Sexual Abuse, Past Violence, Rape, Rape Aftermath, Rape/Non-con Elements, Ray I swear to god do not read, Sel still needs a hug, Sexual Abuse, Sexual Violence, Still not a consentual relationship, TJ is still an ass, This Is Why I'm Not Allowed To Have A Pen And Paper, This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things, Threats, Threats of Violence, Unrequited Love, Unrequited Lust, Violence, What Have I Done, What Was I Thinking?, Why Did I Write This?, still no happy ending, very dark, you'll need a flashlight for this one
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-19
Updated: 2020-05-19
Packaged: 2021-03-03 01:55:07
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 6
Words: 7,288
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24276973
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sunhealer24/pseuds/Sunhealer24
Summary: After the body of her father turns up floating down the Ohio river, Sel won't show her face outside the house for three weeks. And really, why should she? Vy's gone, and Sel can't tell anyone else what's going on, under the threat of their imminent demise.When she finally emerges, TJ is waiting with a burning question and an offer she just can't refuse. . .TL;DR: Sel isolates herself after the death of her father for three weeks and when she comes out, TJ's waiting for her.
Relationships: Original Character(s) & Original Character(s), Original Character(s)/Original Character(s), Original Female Character & Original Male Character, Original Female Character(s)/Original Male Character(s), Original Female Character/Original Female Character, Original Female Character/Original Male Character
Series: The Bad Series [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1343698
Comments: 27
Kudos: 11





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So. . . this was supposed to be two to three chapters max, but now it's a monster of six chapters and some terrible stuff. 
> 
> This is not safe or sane or consentual, it's very dark. Please heed the tags and don't use this to trigger yourself in anyway.
> 
> (Also, Ray, I'd better not catch you here.)

Reports flashed on the television screen, and police cars showed up in our driveway for a week. I had never been so sick of the flashing lights and sirens and questions. The police were just trying to do their job, I reassured myself more than once. And if I had nothing to hide, I would be fine. 

The problem was, I did have something to hide. TJ had killed my father and just two days later, a fisherman had found his body floating down the Ohio river. 

It was so reminiscent of Vy's death, barely a month ago, but so different. No one had cried, in fact, there were only seven people at the ceremony. Mom, my brother, the preacher, Dad's brother and sister, myself, and TJ. 

He had hugged me a bit too tightly, shushed me a bit too harshly, and held me a bit too closely. 

But he had held me, and wiped away my tears, and no one had suspected a single thing.

  
  


I fled to my room afterwards, locked the door, barred the windows, drew the curtains, and refused human contact. 

But those goddamn roses kept coming in. Every morning, I would take my shower, and afterwards, a new vase of roses would show up. 

  
  


A dozen, blood-red, roses. 

I had tried randomizing when I showered, tried watching the dresser, triple-checked the locks before and after. 

Nothing worked.

  
  


Three weeks later, my room smelled like a rotting flowerbed, the stench of living, dead, and decaying roses on the air. It was too much for mom, who had long since given up trying to talk to me and just left my food at the door, and eventually, even me.

Leaving my room was an insecurity, but also a breath of fresh air. I couldn't live in the same six hundred square feet forever.

Mom nearly dropped her knife she was using to cut tomatoes when she saw me. "Sel?" She asked cautiously. 

"Hey. . ." I whispered, biting my lip and pulling on the sides of my hood. 

"Oh honey. . ." She set down the knife and abandoned her cutting board, wrapping me in a hug. She smelled like she always had, strawberry soap mixed with vanilla lotion. 

I sobbed into her shirt. "Mom. . ." 

"Shh." She hushed me, pulling down my hood and stroking the back of my head. "I know. I know it honey." 

  
  


When she finally let me go, her mascara had started to smear. "I need to go to work soon." She sniffed, trying to dry her tears. "Your brother's at your aunt's and TJ's coming over to watch the house." 

She smiled slightly at the last part. "He's been so devastated since you disappeared, Sel. He's always loved you so much." My mother held my hands in her own. "He's been watching the house when I've been out, he's been afraid for you. First Vy, then your father. . ." 

She trailed off for a second. "Don't worry, he took a concealed carry class. I've been told he's a very good shot." She consoled me, misinterpreting the despair on my face. 

  
  


The next hour was a blur. The roses being thrown out, mom putting on her makeup, and leaving, me silently begging her the entire time not to go. Not to leave me alone, with TJ on the way.

  
  


I locked the door after she left, feeling a little better, and sat in the living room in my favorite chair, scrolling through Instagram. My online presence had virtually vanished, which I was okay with. I didn't want to be online daily anymore, facing reminders of everything I'd lost. 

I heard the sound of a key turning in the lock. "Forget something mom?" I asked. 

"Sel?" A hesitant voice asked. I turned my head, my pulse racing. 

TJ stood there, his hand on the doorknob, key still in the lock, transfixed. "Your mom didn't tell me you were up yet." He let go of the door, removing the key and closing it. 

He took steady steps towards me, and I jumped up, holding a pillow in front of me, as if that would protect me. 

  
  


He was thinner, almost gaunt, as if he had lost a lot of weight in a short amount of time. He had grown some stubble on his face, and he had dark circles under his eyes. 

"How much have you been sleeping?" I asked, backing away from him at the same pace. 

"Not much." He admitted.

"Gotta keep up the act?" I snapped, a little harder than I intended to. 

"Sel. . . please." He pleaded with me, continuing to walk towards me. 

"Don't come near me!" I warned him, voice shaking. I held the pillow an arm's length away from me, trying to shield myself from him. 

I flinched violently as he held his gun in one hand. He laughed coldly, as if he was unable to stop himself. 

"Easy there." I caught the old harsh coldness in his eyes as he set the gun down on the center table. "There, see? No gun. Now, do the same for me. Put down the pillow."

Hesitantly, and against my better judgement, I lowered the pillow down to my side, before losing my grip on it entirely and letting it drop to the floor. 

"Good girl." He praised me, stepping into my space in two strides. He brushed his thumb against my cheekbone in mock tenderness. "Good girl." He repeated. 

"What do you want, TJ?" I asked him, trying in vain to pull away from him. 

"Isn't it obvious Sel?" He answered, pressing his forehead against my own. "I want you. Everything I've done has been for you." He smiled cruelly. "And I want you to return the favor." 

He pressed his body against mine even more, moving his mouth over to my ear. "Marry me." 


	2. Chapter 2

"Are you insane?" I asked him, already looking for an escape. 

He laughed. "You can't be telling me you haven't noticed it. You haven't had a period in weeks, you've been having extreme mood swings, you have giant headaches. . ." He smirked, his hand ghosting over my breasts. "Your breasts are swollen, probably preparing to make milk."

"No. . ." my face pales. "You can't possibly be suggesting. . ." 

"Sel." He said with a note of firm realism in his voice that made me hurt, "You can't deny the fact that you're pregnant." 

A wave of nausea came over me, and I fought against him, repulsed that a part of him could possibly be  _ growing inside me _ . 

He misinterpreted my actions, most likely deliberately, and held me tighter to his body, rubbing small, gentle circles into my back. "It's okay. I know it's frightening, but we can get a pregnancy test to confirm it, and if it's positive, we can tell your mom." He shushed my sobs, continuing. "Of course, you'll have to move in with me, and we'll get married soon enough. Don't worry, Sel. It'll be just perfect, Sel. Don't worry about a single thing." 

He sounded happy, as if this had been his plan all along, which, of course, it probably had been. 

I felt him smile into my hair. "It'll all be okay. You were made for this." My breath caught in my throat, stuck on a sob that wouldn't come out, like one of those long carnival scarves that clowns pull out of their mouths. 

I could almost sense his mood shift, darkening and becoming more sinister. "Come on Sel. You ate the food, and I would sometimes watch you sleep. So peaceful, of course, a careful blend of Doxepine, Lunesta, and Emazepam can do that." He gently kissed my cheek. "But you weren't the only person I would watch. Really, your mother is such a beautiful woman, it's a shame that her clients never look past her body. But," He ran his right hand down my side, openly groping me, before stopping on my hip. "Now I know where you get it." He kissed me again, chuckling sinisterly. 

"Come on. We'd better go get that pregnancy test." His voice held no room for retaliation. 

I stepped out into the sun for the first time in a month, shielding my eyes with one of my hands. TJ squeezed the other one in what could be misconstrued as a reassuring gesture. "Don't worry." He comforted me. "You'll get used to it." 

I wasn't sure if he was talking about the sun in my eyes or his hand in mine. 

We walked down the street slowly, in no rush under the warm afternoon sun. There was no idle chatter, there was no need for it. Small talk held no place between us. We reached the small drugstore on the corner just outside of downtown far too soon, and its doors opened far too cheerily to welcome us in. 

TJ took a few steps forward, tugging gently on my arm when he realized that I wasn't following him. "Come on babe." He said in an overly sugared tone that set my teeth on edge. He had lost weight, but gained muscle, and I felt that he could yank my arm out of its socket if he wanted to. 

I followed him into the store with all of its shelves carefully lined with products, standing at attention should a customer come by with wandering eyes and money in their pockets. He made a beeline for the women's health section, picking up a couple simple pregnancy tests off the rack. 

He dragged me along behind him to the cash register where he was greeted by an overly friendly, flirty, clerk. "Hey there TJ! Nice to see you!" She leaned forward over the counter, giving him a full view of her cleavage. 

He gave her a not entirely cold look, but enough that she backed off. "Hi Jennifer." He greeted her, laying the items on the counter. 

"And who is this with you?" She asked, still overly interested and not even making an attempt to hide it. 

He did entirely stone-face her this time, to his credit. "This is my girlfriend, Sel. Sel, meet Jennifer, she's one of my friends." Jennifer was sizing me up now as she checked TJ out, the  _ "what makes her better than me?"  _ look written all over her face. 

"You pregnant?" She asked bluntly, not even holding up the farce of polite conversation anymore as she looked at me. I paled, hiding my face. TJ looked like he was about to strangle her. 

"Hey Jenny, I think that maybe you and I should have a chat, okay?" He asked her in a slightly strained voice, leaving no room for argument. 

"Okay!" Her tone was bright and cheerful again as she checked us out and TJ paid her. She practically flounced out to TJ, smiling widely, and they went to chat a couple aisles over. I stood there, awkwardly holding the bag with the pregnancy tests in it until Jennifer came out of the aisle biting her lip with tears at the corners of her eyes. "H-have a nice day, Sel." She told me, trembling. 

"Let's go." I heard TJ say from behind me. I jumped, and he laughed. He still scared me, for obvious reasons, and I had been watching Jennifer instead of looking for him. 

"What did you say to her?" I asked him in a low tone when we were walking home.

He chuckled slightly, his hands in his pockets, reminding me of his gun. "Oh, you know. Her grandfather's in the hospital, his kidneys are failing him. I told her that if she wanted his name to stay at the top of the transplant list, she'd be a little bit kinder." He attempted to grab my arm, but I jerked away from him.

"Don't touch me!" 

His eyes narrowed. "Be careful what you say, Sel. Just because I like you doesn't mean I won't shoot you." He tapped my shoulder to enforce his point. 

We arrived at my house in the same silence that we had left in. "I'll take the bag, you go drink some water. In twenty minutes we would be able to get the results." 

I bit my lip, handing him the bag and heading to the kitchen, grabbing a glass and pouring myself some water. I gripped the glass tightly, taking small sips from it. 

How had I let my life get this way? Two deaths were all my fault and anyone who had authority was in the pocket of the man who had murdered them. 

I set the glass down on the counter and leaned against the island, burying my head in my hands. God, this wasn't fair. 

I took a deep breath and went back out into the living room. TJ was reading the labels on the boxes. "They seem pretty standard." He said without looking up at me. "This one says it's ninety-eight percent accurate and this one. . ." he paused to look at the other box. "Also says it's ninety-eight percent accurate. So I guess it's up to you." He finally looked up at me, and, for a split second, I could imagine a future where it didn't have to be like this. Where he hadn't murdered both my father and my best friend. 

But then the moment was gone and it was just his flat, emotionless eyes staring at me again. "I guess I'll take that one." I pointed towards the one in his left hand, which he handed over. 

"Alright. I'll be anticipating the results." He reminded me as I headed off to my bathroom. I wasn't. I hoped, before all other things, that he was wrong. 

  
  


Seven minutes later, I look a deep breath, my back against the closed door of my bathroom (that still had a chip in the wood), and grabbed the pregnancy test from off the top of the toilet seat. 

I flipped it over, and put my head between my knees. Goddammit. Two pink bars. 


	3. Chapter 3

"Look Sel, I'm telling you right now. If you tell your mom we're getting married because you're pregnant, she'll start asking questions. Starting with why we didn't use a contraceptive." 

"Because you're a fucking bastard and don't know how to put on a fucking condom." I muttered. 

His eyes flashed. "Easy with the tongue, Sel. Now, try to listen carefully. What she's seen's scary, but nothing when compared to me. And I'd hate for your mom not to walk you down that aisle." 

I bit my tongue, crossing my arms and settling back against the wall of my bedroom. It had been about five minutes since I had first come out of the bathroom and flung the pregnancy test at the waiting TJ's face. He had looked at it, smirked, and said  _ "I told you so." _

"Good girl." He praised. "We're not telling your mother that you're pregnant yet, because you're not very far along. It has to be from the last time we had sex, which was. . ." He thought for a second. "About four and a half weeks ago. Now, the first step is getting you a ring. Then we'll tell your mother and my family and start planning the wedding." 

"If you'll excuse me for a second, I need to shave since we're going to be going shopping." He walked out of my room and I heard his footsteps retreat down the hall, followed by the dull buzz of an electric razor. Did he just. . . keep that here? Did mom let him? Was he already so comfortable in my house that he would just leave his things here? 

I sighed heavily pushing away these thoughts and checking the time. My brother should be home soon, if nothing else then to grab a few things and clean clothes. "I'm going downstairs." I half called out to him, starting down the stairway. 

Sure enough, I was halfway down the stairway when I caught sight of my little brother coming in through the door. "Sel?" He asked, a bit puzzled. "I haven't seen you in a while. I miss you." 

I smiled at him tightly, holding back tears, and, traveling down the rest of the stairs, wrapped him in a hug. "I missed you too, Cas." He snuggled against my stomach, holding onto my shirt until TJ made a small noise which startled him. 

"TJ!" His green eyes lit up with the exclamation and he ran over to hug my  _ "boyfriend".  _ Cas looked so excited, I didn't want to rob him of such a thing.

"Hey squirt." TJ said, ruffling his hair. "I bet your aunt's waiting for you, so you'd better hurry up and get your stuff." TJ almost looked caring in the moment, which was frightening in its own way. How easily he slipped on a mask.

Cas was oblivious, only nodding eagerly and running up the stairs. I turned away, sick at all the threats I remembered TJ levying against him. "What is it dear? Do you  _ not _ want me to be nice to your brother?" He asked, laughing slightly as I recoiled when he touched my skin. 

"Screw you." I murmured quietly. 

"All in good time. First, we have to wait for Cas to leave. Then we have to get you that ring. Then, we'll see." 

I did want to smack him. I really did. The blow I delivered would be nowhere near as strong as his return one, but it would be very satisfying. Restraint was key. I balled my hands into fists and shoved them into my pockets in an attempt to calm myself.

I scowled as he raised one eyebrow at me, but neither of us said anything. After a few minutes, Cas came back down the stairs at full speed, toting a small bag. He looked incredibly happy, stopping to hug me again before clinging to TJ's legs. 

I felt a few tears prick at my eyes before I was able to blink them back. Would my child be like Cas? Beautiful, rambunctious, and perfect? 

I snapped back to reality when I realized that TJ was saying something to Cas. "It's okay. I think you'll be seeing a lot more of me." He leaned down, as if he was about to speak some big secret. "Can you keep a secret, bud?" 

My brother nodded eagerly, bouncing on the balls of his feet as if he couldn't wait. "Well, I'm going to get married to your sister here. Shh, you can't tell anyone!" He winked at the boy and then at me, but I saw the glint in his eye that Cas didn't. Hungry, and. . . jealous? 

"Sel, is that true?" My brother exclaimed, throwing himself at me. I picked him up, glaring at TJ for putting me in this situation. 

"Well, yeah. Mom thought that we might need someone else around since she's gone all the time and since dad's not going to be here every so often anymore." I lied to him. It was shocking to see how TJ had changed me. I used to not be able to hold a straight face, fidgeting and stuttering when I lied, but the hand I had been dealt had forced me to learn fast. 

"Wow! You're gonna be the dad now?" Cas asked TJ, squirming in my arms and making me put him down. His statement was sadly accurate. Not only would TJ be a dad sooner rather than later, apparently, but he would take my dad's place, turning into the older male with the power of abuse. Not that Cas would ever know about any of it. Mom and I had worked carefully to keep how dad had behaved hidden. Cas deserved better than that. 

"Cas?" I heard my aunt call out to him from outside. She was getting impatient. She wouldn't come inside, out of respect, but she was loud.

"Hey, better go out to your aunt." TJ said gently as I set Cas down. There was something underneath his tone, something I didn't like, but Cas didn't pick up on it as he ran outside. 

I watched him go, slamming the door behind him, and heard the car start. It wasn't thirty seconds after I heard them drive away that I felt TJ slam me against the wall. "What- you're hurting me!" I complained as he twisted my hands above my head in his iron grip. 

"Good." He growled, burying his head in the crook of my neck. I felt his breath against my skin as I struggled futility against him. "Keep doing that and I'll break your kneecaps." He warned me, shoving his knee up between my legs. I stilled, partially out of shock and partially out of fear. For a moment, I almost thought he was going to take me right there, against the wall of my living room. Then I dismissed the idea.

"How would we have our wedding then?" I whispered, trying to distract him from whatever he was doing. He pressed his mouth gently against my neck, licking up and down it for a minute.

"I know some very good prosthetic doctors. I could have a pair of false legs made for you, take them off when you don't need them. You couldn't run away then." He hummed quietly before harshly nipping the skin on a particularly sensitive part of my neck with his teeth. 

I whined quietly as he continued to assault the area. "Shh love. It's okay, I'll give you what you want." He murmured quietly, rubbing his knee in circles against my crotch. 

"TJ, please, stop. Don't do this." I begged him breathily as one of his hands slipped down to my waistband.

He laughed quietly. "Stop what? I'm not doing anything, yet. You just hate that your body reacts to me like this. Pretend like you don't want me in you all you want, but your body is telling a whole different story. It's not going to lie to me like your pretty little mouth does." While he talked, I felt my pants drop to the floor. His hand cupped my mound as he stopped sucking on my neck and pressed his forehead against mine instead. 

I felt him gently strum over my clit a few times before sticking a finger in me and pumping a few times. I sobbed quietly. "You're wet, Sel. You want my cock, don't you?" He asked, smirking. He continued to finger me as he talked. "You want me to fill you up before I buy you a ring, you want me to fuck you right here against the wall. See, you always pretend like you don't want this, but your body doesn't lie to me. You enjoy me using you like a fucktoy, like a whore. That's right, it must run in the family." 

He removed his fingers and lined himself up. I looked away. "Say you want my cock." What? "Come on, you're soaking, and we're not going to get anywhere unless you say it." He pushed.

Goddammit. The one time he actually got me wanting something. "I. . . want your cock." I said quietly, hating myself. 

"What was that?" He asked. "I can't hear you." 

"I. . . I want your cock, TJ." I repeated myself, barely allowing myself to look at him. 

"That wasn't so hard, now was it?" He replied. I caught his smug expression out of the corner of my eye as he penetrated me and slowly started fucking me. He let go of my hands in favor of grabbing my throat, not hard at first, but as he got faster, I started seeing stars. 

"TJ!" I choked out, struggling to draw air through my windpipe. My head was exploding and I felt pressure mounting in my gut. 

"One second!" He growled before slotting his hips against mine and cumming, letting up the pressure on my throat. I felt my walls flutter around him as I came. He smiled at me sadistically. "See, I told you you enjoyed it." He pulled something out of his pocket before pulling out of me very slowly, so not to drip cum everywhere. 

I let out a small whimper as I felt something cold replace him. "What are you doing?" I asked. 

"Do you want to leak cum into your underwear as we walk around?" He asked me. "No? Then shut up." 

He walked into the kitchen as I pulled my pants up and tried to fix my outfit. I heard the water running, and he walked out a few minutes later, looking just fine. 

"Ready to go?" He asked me. I bit my lip before nodding. He took my hand in his as he made sure the door was locked and the lights were off. 

Then we left the house.


	4. Chapter 4

I walked around to the passenger's side of TJ's truck and got in. He glanced over at me for a minute before backing out of my driveway and into the street. 

"What?" I asked him. 

He kept his eyes on the road as he answered in a calm voice. "I'm just imagining what you'll look like when you're further along and heavy with my children." 

I glowered at him. "I hate you." 

He made a turn. "Your actions speak otherwise. And even if you were telling the truth, you'll change your mind in time." 

I stared at the stoplight ahead of us. When had things gotten so fucked? I remember just a few years ago, sitting in Vy's car, just the three of us. When TJ's eyes had still held life, when he had still cared. We had laughed, told jokes. We used to be friends.

When had that all changed? I felt a tear slip down my cheek, and I wiped it away angrily. TJ hummed quietly as the light turned green. "What are you thinking about?" 

"You and me. . . and Vy." I looked at my hands as I said this but looked up as he huffed angrily. His eyes had taken on the same possessive look that they had before. 

"She's dead now, Sel. She can't help you, can't kiss you, can't fuck you." He took one hand from the steering wheel to rest it on my thigh. "I am all you need. I don't care how many people I have to get rid of to show you that." 

I shuddered. "Don't you ever feel bad?" I asked him quietly. His nails dug into my skin. 

"Oh yes." Sarcasm dripped from his voice. "I pray for each of them every night. The fact of the matter is, I've been getting away with this for a very long time. You're not even the first. There were girls before you. Practices, if you will. They all died. Terrible, terrible tragedies. I cried all night." I was thrown back in my memory to three of TJ's previous girlfriends. One had died in a house fire with her whole family. The only one who made it out was her dog. 

One moved away. She was shy in the first place, so nobody had tried to contact her. My stomach turned as I realized that she was probably buried somewhere in a shallow grave. And the third one, the third one had been found stabbed to death. She was the one where everyone had skirted around TJ for weeks, whispered quietly as if he were a bomb about to detonate.

He had cried all night after she had been found, partly to himself, partly on the phone with Vy and myself. 

He was speaking again. "But you, you were the only one that mattered." He had both hands on the wheel again, gripping it tightly. "You were so blind to the way that everyone looked at you, ready to tear you apart. You weren't ready for that. Owen was going to ask you to the dance in eighth grade. I just couldn't let that happen. You were sick, and he was bragging to his friends about the things he would do to poor,  _ innocent,  _ Sel." 

He stopped to draw a deep breath, calming himself. "So Owen had an unfortunate accident." 

I remembered that boy, sandy hair and a slight stutter. Nice enough. A few people had told me that Owen might like me, I told them he could tell me himself. Then I got sick for a couple days, and Owen never showed up to school again. It went down in the records as his parents had decided to homeschool him. Most likely a payoff. 

"Go to Hell." I choked out, feeling sick. TJ gave me another side glance. 

"I don't believe in Hell. And even if I did, I wouldn't go there if I couldn't drag you, kicking and screaming, down with me." 

I didn't respond, instead choosing to look out the window. It wasn't too late in the afternoon, so most people were either at home or at work, leaving not very many people on the roads or on the sidewalks. 

I watched a young couple push a stroller down the sidewalk as they chatted, the man laughing at something the girl said. She looked happy. I wondered if that's who I could have been in another place and time. I closed my eyes and let myself imagine for a moment, a reality where TJ and I might actually love each other, instead of our relationship being about hate and possession.

The car gently idled to a stop. "We're here." I opened my eyes and looked out the window to see a jewelry shop, and a particularly expensive one at that. In fact, even though mom made good money, we had never gone to this shop because a single necklace here would have taken a week's worth of wages. 

"Oh no, we can't go here, it's-" I started before TJ cut me off. 

"Get out of the goddamn car, Sel. I won't ask you again." I swallowed the rest of my sentence before opening the door, my blood rushing through my ears. 

I stumbled out, starting to fall, but TJ caught me. "Sweetheart, are you okay?" He asked me, his eyes full of concern. I blinked at him for a couple of seconds, trying to get ahold of myself. Yeah, I had definitely passed out. "Let's get you inside." 

He guided me towards the store and around the passerby, holding me up. 

The bell jingled cheerfully on the door, announcing our arrival. The older man behind the counter looked up at us as we walked in. "Ah, TJ!" He greeted. "Nice to see you again! It's been awhile. What can I get for you today? More flowers?" 

TJ smiled faintly at the man. "Well, yes, but first, some jewelry, if you would, Leo." He pulled me closer against him. "I'm a very lucky man today. My girlfriend has agreed to marry me. I just want to do it right and pick up the ring. Is it ready yet?" 

'Leo' beamed at me. "Yes, let me go get it from the back." He hurried out from behind the counter and into another room. "Did you want your necklace too?" He called out.

"Yes, please!" TJ called back, squeezing my hip gently. I opened my mouth to say something before shutting it again. "Don't worry about a thing, Sel. I've got it all figured out." He soothed me, using his free hand to brush my hair away from my face. 

The owner of the store could not reappear soon enough. I fidgeted in TJ's grip and so he only held me tighter, enough to cause bruises and indentions. The man did eventually reappear, holding two small jewelry boxes. TJ let go of me for a minute, brushing me off, as he stepped forward to view them. 

He nodded, seemingly satisfied with the quality. "They'll do. I'll also take a dozen of your darkest red roses and two of my regular roses." 

Leo stepped back into the back room as TJ made his way over to me once more, burying his face in my neck and kissing the skin lightly. "I can't wait to wake up to you every morning and go to bed with you every night." He murmured quietly, in a way that almost sounded like affection. 

"Not here." I hissed to him as his hands traced their way down my body and settled around my waistband. He sighed before detaching himself from me except for holding my hand. 

"Alas." He said, bringing it up to his mouth and kissing it. "I need to pay for our purchases anyway." He walked the few feet back to the counter, drumming his fingers on it lightly until the owner came back with the flowers. 

He pulled out his wallet and extracted a black card from it. "How much will it be?" 

The man chuckled slightly. "I won't charge you for the roses since you've already overpayed me for those. So just the necklace and the ring." He pressed some keys on the cash register. He dropped his voice so I almost couldn't hear it. "She must be important to you TJ." 

I turned around. "She is." TJ replied. He didn't even blink as he swiped his card and signed his name. "Come on Sel. We've gotta go if we want to beat your mom home." 

He put his card and wallet away, grabbed the boxes and flowers and walked out the door. I followed him, getting into his truck. "How much was it?" I asked him as he pulled out into traffic, hating myself for being curious. 

"Oh, you heard that?" TJ asked, seemingly a little amused. "Don't worry. Not too much, only around $35 million." He didn't even take his eyes off the car in front of him as he casually said the amount.

I choked. "What?"

He shrugged. "Like I said. Not too much." 

I took to looking out the window and fuming instead, when I realized that we weren't on the way home. "Hey TJ, where are we going?" I asked, panic bubbling up in my gut.

He did spare a moment to look at me this time. "The cemetery."


	5. Chapter 5

Even though the sun beat down on my shoulders, I shivered with cold as I stepped through the gates, holding the bouquet out in front of me like a weapon. 

It felt inherently wrong to be here with TJ, coming to see Vy, but here I was. I put one foot in front of the other, one hesitant step at a time. I knew exactly where Vy's grave was at this point, and it slightly unnerved me that TJ seemed to know too. 

I soon found the small headstone. Simple, but already so well loved. It was much like the girl who's body now lay below it. I gently laid the bouquet of roses on her grave. It stood out, even among the other bouquets and chains of flowers. 

The crown of wildflowers that I had made last week was still there, bringing tears to my eyes. I remembered a time long ago, in middle school perhaps, when all three of us had sat together braiding flower crowns. Again, what had happened? Where was the fairness in this world? 

I felt TJ staring at me. I looked up to him, finally aware that I was crying. His eyes were lifeless, as always, but I saw him wipe away a single droplet of water from his cheek. I studied him for a minute. "You miss her, don't you?" 

He recoiled, as if struck. "Don't be absurd. She was an obstacle in the way of my plans. She had to be eliminated." He clenched his jaw, annoyance hiding something deeper. 

"That doesn't mean you don't miss her. She was your friend too, once upon a time." I coaxed. "It's okay to miss her." He seemed to be getting angrier now instead of calmer at my persistence. 

With a growl, he struck out, pinning me to the ground. "Maybe if I fucked you on top of her grave that would finally convince you." He glowered. 

He was definitely pissed now, and I was almost petrified with fear. I should have known better than to push him this far. I looked around frantically for anyone who might be around us, but the only people around us were six feet deep. "Please. Don't." I finally begged him, letting my gaze flit back to his. 

He studied me for a minute, his stare scrutinizing, before letting go of me and standing up, dusting himself off. "We do need to beat your mother home and get you cleaned up." He admitted, his face carefully blank again.

I got up from the ground. TJ didn't offer to help me, and I wouldn't have taken his help if he had. "Car. Now." He demanded.

I gave Vy's grave one last glance and said my silent goodbyes and apologies before walking back to my fiance's car with him. He had my hand captured in a vice like grip, as if warning me against something. Running? 

Where would I run to? My mother trusted him implicitly, and my brother knew that we were engaged now. Any of my relatives that would house me were in direct contact with my mother, and I had grown distant from all friends except for Vy and TJ. The former of which was dead, and the later was the cause for all my grief.

"What are you thinking about?" TJ asked me as he started the car. The engine turned over, jarring me out of my thoughts. 

"Oh, um. . . our wedding." I clumsily lied.

TJ laughed, the same one that I used to hear on the way to school and in my classes, the same one that used to put me so at ease. Instead, it made my skin prickle now. "That's cute, but you're a bad liar, Sel. Leave that to me, now won't you?" He chuckled again as he idled at a stoplight. 

"Come here." He leaned over while waiting for the light to change and gave me a gentle kiss. I was shocked into submission for a minute before I pulled away from him. 

The light changed, and he drove. "What, you didn't think I could be gentle, Sel?" He paused for a minute, waiting for a response that never came before going on. "Save what's ours for us, and put up a mask for the public. We don't let people look beyond the curtain, understand?" He growled the last part, catching my eye in the mirror. 

I nodded, swallowing the spit in my mouth. My throat felt very dry suddenly, and I didn't trust myself to speak. 

"Good." He said. There was little conversation the rest of the car ride home. 

He parked his car in the exact same spot in my driveway and got out, pulling  **_his_ ** keys for  _ my _ house out of his pocket. He guided me upstairs and shoved me into the bathroom. "Go take a shower. I'll get you an outfit." He ordered before starting to rifle through my closet. 

Having no other options, and already seeing what time it was, I did what he said. The warm water was nice on my bruised body. I had almost forgotten what it was like to have TJ antagonize me. 

I shivered and tried to block out the sound of the metal plug TJ had placed inside me hitting the tile. I sighed heavily. He was nothing if not persistent, and I was afraid that I would never be rid of him. 

I pressed my hand against my stomach and leaned my head against the wall, starting to cry quietly. I didn't get out of the shower until the water had run cold and the tears had run dry.

I towled myself dry, and holding it to myself like it was a shield, I took a deep breath and stepped out of the bathroom. 

TJ was sitting on my bed looking at something on his phone. He pocketed it when I entered. "We have two and a half hours, so we'd better hurry. Here." He threw a dress at me. "Wear that. Then we'll go over what you're going to say." 


	6. Chapter 6

In and out. Just keep breathing. TJ had dressed me in a cream colored dress and then done my hair and makeup while he drilled me over and over again on the lies I would have to repeat numerous times to everyone for the rest of my life.

We were sitting on the couch downstairs, waiting for Mom to come home, and TJ had assumed the role of the doting fiance. He squeezed my hand gently, his eyes filled with caring as he looked at me. I could almost believe it. 

"It's all going to be okay, Sel." He reassured me. "I'll take care of you and our children for the rest of our lives." 

In and out. Remember that it's all a lie. Remember that he doesn't actually give a damn.  _ Remember to keep up the act.  _

I looked at the ring on my finger instead of him. It was. . . expensive she extravagant. He'd explained it to me as he slid it onto my finger an hour ago. White gold with six blue diamonds in it and then the main setting of the ring, a three carat purple diamond. He had growled at me when I asked if it was an amethyst, telling me that this was much different and much more expensive. The ring was beautiful, but excessive. 

He had also given me the necklace, which now rested in the hollow of my throat, a delicate multicolored rose, each petal apparently carved out of a different color of diamond. Again, an unnecessary show of money and power. 

As I was contemplating this, I heard the front door. Mom. My throat started to close up. 

TJ squeezed my hand and whispered in my ear. "Showtime. Remember, we only get one shot at this, so you'd better do it right. I'd hate for your brother to end up in an orphanage." 

Before I could respond, he was kissing me tenderly, consuming all my attention. I faintly heard my mom walk in and make a quiet noise. 

TJ jumped away like he was embarrassed. "Oh. . . um. . . I'm sorry, we didn't expect you home so soon." He sounded thoroughly chastised, like a child caught with his hand in the cookie jar. 

I was flushed pink myself, slightly embarrassed. "Hi mom." I greeted her, meeting her eyes as TJ entwined his fingers with my own. 

He brought my hand to his lips, kissing it lightly, and I flushed more. My mom surveyed us thoughtfully, putting pieces together.

Before she got there though, TJ stood up and faced her. "Ms. Silverwind, I have intentions to marry your daughter. I've already proposed to her, and she said yes. All that's left is your blessing." He sounded so sincere, so humble, it was easy to forget that he was going to kill her if she said no. 

My mother stood speechless for a second before glancing at me. I smiled at her the best I could, and she looked back to TJ. "Yes, of course you have my blessing. You two look so happy together, it would be insensitive to say no and try to keep you apart." 

She smiled at both of us brightly before excusing herself to go take her makeup off and take a nap before her evening work. 

TJ's bright, innocent, smile hit the floor as soon as she walked out, only to be replaced by a much darker one. He sighed almost contentedly, sitting back down next to me, and taking my hands in his. He leaned his forehead against mine, closing his eyes for a minute. 

  
  


_ "Oh Sel, we're going to be so happy together. . ."  _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, have fun with that. Also, remember to leave a comment/kudos if you liked! It helps fuel my brain for more of this terrible, terrible series, and others. 
> 
> As always, I love you all! ❤️
> 
> (Also I've been considering setting up an optional page where you can donate a few dollars to buy me a coffee or something to help keep me writing! Tell me if you're interested!)


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